ESPN's Colin Cowherd as South Park's Saddam Hussein?

I was just listening to Mike & Mike on ESPN Radio here on my computer and I had the unfortunate experience of hearing the intro to "The Herd". It does some gay intro for the show and then you hear this douchebag, Cowherd, make some sort of a "haaay" noise. It sounds dead on to the voice of Saddam Hussein in those classic South Park episodes and the movie. Especially when Saddam is trying to seduce Satan in the movie. Don't waste your brain cells listening to Cowherd's whole show, but at least try to catch the intro sometime.

Another 3-0 weekend for my teams

The OSU-Michigan game was pretty ugly and boring, but we managed to get a big W out of it to wrap up sole possession of the Big 10 championship. It's a shame to see Lloyd Carr go--it has been nice these last few years to be able to count on a victory to close out the regular season. Michigan can be scary again if they bring in a solid guy who can recruit as good as or better than Tressel. It will now be interesting to see how many higher ranked teams than Ohio State lose now. If Missouri beats Kansas and UConn beats WVU this weekend, then LSU loses in the SEC championship game and Missouri gets beat in the Big 12 championship game, where does that leave the Buckeyes? I honestly hope that things do not play out in a way that OSU ends up in the top 2 of the BCS because I think it will be nice to get these players to the Rose Bowl and hopefully the majority of the underclassmen stick around for another year and take a shot at the national championship next year. If they can hold onto most of their key guys, they should be in good shape to make a run for it.

The Colts-Chiefs game was horrible to watch. I honestly nearly fell asleep on my couch several times during the game. I wasn't even hung over from the Buckeyes game the day before! AV needs to get himself healthy in time for the stretch run against our divisional opponents and the playoffs. He is such a likable guy and it's bullshit that the fans were booing him after those misses. My thought on the matter is if AV really is not 100% healthy, then Dungy should have just went for it on those 4th downs. It really was nice to see Dungy take a step in building up AV's confidence (and the other players confidence in him) by letting him kick the game winner. Although the only thing I can't figure out--why the hell does Dungy always call a timeout with too many seconds left on the clock? I mean, it's fourth down anyway, so it's not like you can fumble a snap, fall on it, and get another chance. Why take the chance of having someone run back a kickoff, especially when your coverage teams are so spotty? Anyway, we got the W and should be able to build up some more confidence this Thursday against the Falcons. Byron Leftwich thought he could get away from the Colts. At least Freeney isn't around to hurt him again. I'm just pissed that I may need to go to a bar to watch the game on Thurs night. The in-laws cable provider does not have NFL Network and it does not appear that they are getting a simulcast on their local NBC affiliate, like they are doing here in Indy. What a concept.

And the Cleveland freaking Browns. All I have to say is Fuck You Baltimore! It really was an entertaining game to watch though. There have been a lot of exciting Browns games this season, but this field goal deal is the topper so far. Josh Cribbs is sick--nuff said.

Did a hate crime occur in Bills-Patriots game?

Breaking News out of Orchard Park, NY:

Erie County, New York, district attorney Frank J. Clark is rumored to being pressured by New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft, seen here demonstrating the importance of a nose bidet to his grandchildren, to file formal hate crime charges against Bills OT Langston Walker . These "charges" stem from an encounter the 28-year old, 6 ft 8 in, 366 lbs Mr. Walker, had with New England Patriots CB Randall Gay (5 ft 11 in, 190 lbs) with approximately 12:51 left on the game clock in the first quarter of the game Sunday Nov 18, 2007. Witnesses claim that Mr. Gay was simply trying to perform typical duties associated with his job, and out of nowhere Mr. Walker attacked him. The NFL game officials charged Mr. Walker with an Unnecessary Roughness penalty, thus giving the Patriots an additional 14 yards tacked onto the interception return by Mr. Gay. Unnecessary Roughness is typically a 15 yard penalty, however, due to the close vicinity of the goal line, only 14 yards were allowed. It is because of this ONE yard that Mr. Kraft feels that the Buffalo Bills and Mr. Walker have not been punished severely enough for this deplorable act.

When asked for comment, Mr. Gay replied, "A hate crime? I don't get it. I guess that is something Commissioner Goodell could be looking into. Is this something to do with the secret video? If so, I have no comment. Oh, wait, I get it now. Another immature attempt to make a joke about my last name. Real funny. Very creative though--nice work."

Through his attorney, Mr. Walker responded to these rumors by saying, "I was confused and thought Gay was Tom Brady. I really want to knock the piss out of that guy." (as a side note, I think he was speaking Yoda, and meant "I was confused and thought Tom Brady was gay," as evidenced in this file photo, . There is no further evidence of Mr. Walker's ability to speak Yoda, although it seems fairly obvious that he can.

Bills coach Dick Jauron responded to questions about this, "Huh? That's one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard of. What will the Patriots try to do next? Sue us for defamation because we let them score so many points thus causing people to accuse the Patriots of running up the score? Give me a break. Next thing you know they will try to put a lien on Castle Greyskull . I have worked too damn hard over the years to get away from Snake Mountain. Nobody fucks with my castle now."

Latest update on this "story": All parties are denying any knowledge of this and we have determined that this information was all bogus. It seems as if someone just wanted to find a creative way to post an embarrassing picture of someone associated with the Patriots again. Online sources are so unreliable sometimes...

Steve Nash & Heidi Fleiss...twins?

Ever notice how the Phoenix Suns' Steve Nash could be the long lost twin brother of Heidi Fleiss? Very disturbing similarities...

Not a good weekend for my teams in the W/L column

Well, this was an all-around shitty weekend for my favorite teams. The Buckeyes lost to an up-and-coming Illinois team on Saturday afternoon, the Browns blew a nice lead and lost to the Steelers on Sunday afternoon, and then the Colts sucked up the field on Sunday night against the Chargers.

I'm OK with the Buckeyes loss. As long as they beat up Michigan this weekend and end up playing in the Rose Bowl, I am OK with it all. Illinois really had a strong game plan by Ron Zook and their guys executed it, especially Juice Williams. I had watched U of I play a few other games earlier this season and they showed flashes of a top 25 team, but they really put it together on Saturday for a complete game. No small feat in the Horseshoe.

I am about 75% OK with the Browns loss. Granted, the expectations were pretty low going into the Steelers game, but it just sucks to have the division leader on the ropes and be unable to knock them out in the 4th quarter. Plus, a Steelers loss would have helped give the Colts a bit more breathing room as they struggle to hold onto the #2 seed in the AFC. It's almost as if the Browns are playing well in spite of their coach at this point. Romeo Crennel is simply NOT a good head coach. Poor game management, use of timeouts, challenges, clock management, etc. In a way I am hoping for a late season collapse by the Browns just to increase the odds of Crennel losing his job at the end of the season. The first round draft pick is going to the Cowboys anyway, so who cares.

Ah, the Colts. All I can say is, the Chargers really suck. Actually, the players are really good--it's the head coach that sucks balls. I've never been impressed with Philip Rivers either, but they should still be able to win games with players like Tomlinson and Gates. Just get the ball in their hands. It would be great to get a few starters back on the field here in Indy though. If I have to see Aaron Moorehead's bulgy eyes on TV again I am going to puke. I can't believe the Colts keep him on their roster year after year. I was OK with Craphonso Thorpe's performance. Someone needs to tell Bryan Fletcher and Ben Utecht's asses to just run their routes, catch the ball, and either fall down or run out of bounds immediately. They both always look like they are going to fumble the ball as soon as a defender gets close. I am all for the mentality of "fighting for every yard", etc., but when you never get anywhere and all you get is a mob of defensive players trying to hold you up and rip the ball out, it starts to seem counterproductive. I swear to god if I see Fletcher try to stiff arm some dude again I may throw my frosty mug through the wall.

All in all, it was a shitty weekend of football watching in my house. The only thing I really enjoyed was finally watching the Knocked Up movie DVD. Great fuckin movie. I haven't gotten to the bonus features yet, but I have heard they are hilarious as well.

Does this make me a bad Buckeyes fan?

As a loyal fan, I rarely want one of my teams to lose a particular game. I am a bit torn regarding my beloved Ohio State Buckeyes playing against Illinois this weekend. I think it is in the best interest of the team and us fans. I love that Ohio State is ranked #1, tied for tops in the Big 10, etc., but I REALLY want to beat the team from up north the following weekend, but not have to face LSU in the title game in January. If we just barely lose to U of I this Saturday, and then destroy the team we play the following weekend, we would still win the Big 10 and should go to the Rose Bowl, thus avoiding another embarassment against an SEC team in the title game 2 years in a row. I guess LSU has looked vulnerable lately, so OSU may have a chance against them. If the Buckeyes win out, they will stay #1, and it will be interesting to see what happens if Oregon wins out and then LSU, Oklahoma, and Kansas all lose. Of course, everyone will complain about the Big 10 and Pac 10 not having a championship game like the other conferences do. I like the Buckeyes chances against Oregon more than LSU or Oklahoma. We could take Kansas, I think. Although I thoroughly enjoy watching Kansas football games for nothing more than the action shots of Coach Mangino on the sideline.

Boston journalists are worse than their fans

Boston area TV station, WBZ-TV, had this ridiculous report earlier this week about the crowd noise in the RCA Dome last Sunday. First of all, if every visiting team is complaining about this, why wouldn't the NFL put someone in the sound booth or wherever to keep an eye on the possibility of this occurring? And the "unidentified RCA Dome security guard" that this jackass is using as the "source" for this top secret information? As a journalistic entity, how can this TV station actually report this story as credible? I know some guys who work security at the RCA Dome and none of them are what anyone owuld consider "intelligent". Most of the guys I know never attended a 4-year college and work these events for extra beer money. This dumbass photojournalist is acting as if this security guard (who supposedly said this), has access to some top secret information. And say the Colts really were doing this, why the hell would he say this to someone with Boston area credentials? That makes a ton of sense, put the guy with the top secret information down by the photographers. How fucking annoying are these Boston area people? You won the goddamn game, you have a good team--just leave it at that, instead of making up bullshit stories and insult the fans in Indianapolis who yell, scream, and clap as loud as they can. And the "signs" at both ends of the stadium that say "Quiet. Offense at work.", are on the Jumbotron screens you fucking moron. Believe it or not, but some people in Indiana can actually read and follow directions if they think it will help their team win a game. I guess it never gets very quiet at Gillette Stadium when the Patriots are on offense because their fans never know when to just shut the fuck up. Now would be a good time. And the funniest thing about the Patriots not getting beat by the Colts? They will get beat by a team that will not even make the playoffs this year, like the Jets, Bills, Eagles, or Dolphins. Douchebags.

Randy Moss halftime tirade sparks Patriots

An associate of mine works private security at the RCA Dome during Colts games. He is always assigned to the visitors locker room area. Usually his stories are fairly uneventful in regard to the visiting players and coaches. However, he said that as the Patriots players were entering their locker room at halftime, Randy Moss yelled and swung his helmet at the wall and left a huge hole in it's place in the drywall. I wonder if the RCA Dome can send the drywaller's bill to Bob Kraft to pay for. Apparently the rest of the Patriots were pretty pissed off at halftime as well, and they simply wanted to get back on the field and start the second half ASAP. Some of the players were even complaining about the Purdue marching band still being on the field and over by their sideline area. Well, whatever happened at halftime, something worked. Of course after the game all of the Patriots players in the locker room were acting as if they had just won the Super Bowl; all that was missing was the champagne. It's just hilarious to see these players and their coach act as if it is no big deal to the media.

Colts fans too loud for Patriots pussy ears

I was just listening to the Tony Bruno Show and he had someone on there saying the CBS people at the RCA Dome yesterday were having camera & sound troubles due to all of the noise when the Colts were on defense. I'm OK with CBS having some difficulties. Then, he went on to say that the Patriots filed a complaint with the NFL to investigate if the RCA Dome was pumping in "fake" noise. Seriously? Fake noise? I was at the game yesterday in the upper deck near the press box area and it was soooo loud whenever the Patriots got the ball that my body was vibrating between plays. I was also at the Pittsburgh game a year or so ago when some jackass writer from Pittsburgh publicly made the claim of "fake" noise because he thought it was just too loud to be real. That guy was just pissed off because the Colts kicked the Steelers asses that night. This latest thing about New England is just as ridiculous. This claim by the Patriots is a slap in the face of all the Colts fans who are hoarse today because they were screaming their lungs out and whose hands are sore because they were clapping as loud as they could on every third down. The Patriots should just be happy they got out of here with a victory and shut the hell up. Besides, I don't recall their offensive line getting called for a false start all day, so the noise obviously wasn't that big of a deal. I remember other opponents games in the RCA Dome where there were several false starts on the O-Line because of the excessive noise of the fans. I will say that the loudest the Dome got yesterday was when Joseph Addai busted that long TD at the end of the first half. I could actually feel the concrete under my feet vibrating like a minor earthquake and I could see ripples in my beer cup that reminded me of the scene from Jurassic Park in the Jeep. That was definitely the loudest moment of the game. There were very few Patriots fans in the Dome yesterday either, and they all seemed to be spaced out--except one small section. Of all the games I have been to in recent years, this one had the least amount of obvious non-Colts fans. What can I say, Colts fans are just loud SOB's!